Kids at Home Have Major FOMO Over In-Person Playdates
While the CDC continues to recommend all in-person playdates be put on hold due to the threat of COVID-19, there are definitely families across the country that have decided to allow their children to meet up and play with others. Explaining to your girl that you’re not going to let her join in the fun—especially if she’s watching neighborhood kids play right outside her window—can be both challenging and heartbreaking.
Developmental psychologist Dr. Cyndy Karras has some tips to make navigating this difficult situation a little easier.
Acknowledge Her Frustration
Missing out on fun playdates and adventures with her
friends—especially after months cooped up inside—is hard on your
child. Nothing you can do or say will make that go away, but
Dr. Karras has a simple tip for getting through those moments when
your girl complains: listen to her and acknowledge her feelings. “You
might say something like, ‘I hear you. It’s really hard to see or hear
about others having fun together when you can’t be a part of
it. Let’s make a list of things we can do together as a family and
with friends without needing to meet up,’” suggests Dr. Karras. Giving
her ownership over coming up with activities and ideas on how she can
connect with others will give her a sense of control and agency.
Don’t Put Down the Neighbors
Nobody needs added conflict and drama in the midst of
a global pandemic. “You may not agree with parents who are
letting their kids meet up in-person,” says Dr. Karras, “but be
mindful of the words you use to discuss how your family’s decision is
different from others’.” She suggests explaining that every family has
the right to make the decision that feels right for them, but your
family is choosing to continue social distancing to keep yourselves
and others safe and healthy. “Try to keep the focus on what you and
those in your household are doing rather than placing judgment on
people your girl knows and likely looks up to.”
Dive into Her World
Obviously she’s not going to have the same experiences playing
and doing activities with you as she would with her friends, but being
present and taking a more active role in her life whenever possible
can help take the sting away from the fun she’s missing out on.
Dr. Karras suggests telling your girl you know you’re not her age
and you obviously can’t replace her friends, but that you want to do
the things she likes doing, whether that’s playing her favorite video
game, learning the latest TikTok dances, or building the most
elaborate Rube Goldberg machine imaginable. She’ll love being the
expert and teaching you about her interests, and you’ll make some
incredible family memories in the process, too.
Be Patient and Honest
She’s probably going to feel sad sometimes—but that’s because
she’s human and we’re naturally social beings. “Being open, honest,
and human really helps kids hear you and relate to you,” says
Dr. Karras. “There’s no need to overshare information, but telling her
you miss your friends, too, can help her see that her feelings are
normal and healthy—and that she’s not the only one feeling left out
right now.” Sharing your experience at an age-appropriate level will
help her grow in empathy and can spark a discussion about how you can
help each other get through this as a team—because that’s what
families do best.
